Sexuality and attraction are not black or white. They are both fluid with separate and distinct spectrums. There are 5 common types of attraction: sexual, romantic, physical, emotional, and aesthetic. Let’s go through each one!

1. Sexual attraction tends to be what comes to mind for many in relation to the topic of attraction. Sexual attraction can be defined as the desire to want sexual contact or show sexual interest in someone. 
2. Romantic attraction is very different but often confused with sexual attraction. A romantic attraction is deeper. It may be experienced simultaneously with sexual attraction, but the distinction is a romantic attraction may not involve sex or any desire for sexual contact. Romantic attraction speaks to more of an emotional connection and attachment. 
3. Physical attraction is about physical touch, connections and affection. It can include non-sexual touch, such as hugs, cuddles, or a back rub. Physical attraction may or may not occur with sexual or romantic attraction. 
4. Emotional attraction is the desire to share your emotions, feelings and thoughts with someone. It is an emotional connection that allows for vulnerability. 
5. Aesthetic attraction is when you find someone visually appealing. You appreciate their appearance but may not want to have sex, share feelings, have physical contact or be in a relationship with them. 

In navigating relationships, it’s important to understand the differences in attraction types and the fluidity along its spectrum. One can experience more than one attraction type in both platonic and non-platonic relationships. The beauty is in the connection, communication, and understanding between those involved. For example, friends may experience aesthetic, emotional, and physical attraction but not sexual or romantic. 

For many, the issues lie in the lack of understanding and the inability to unpack desires and fears. As humans, we have the capacity to experience an expansive spectrum of feelings and emotions that may change at any point in time. Society has created unrealistic rules around human attraction such as when you are married or partnered you should only be attracted to your mate. With this, many experience fear or guilt when they are attracted to someone else. It’s important to know that attraction is a desire, not an action. Experiencing an attraction or desire does not have to translate to taking action on it. 

Have you experienced all 5 attraction types? Which attraction types are more prevalent in your current relationships? Have you experienced any of these attraction types with someone while partnered?

Authored by G. Stone

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